Bariatric Surgery: Food Can’t Be Your Reward
We’re all guilty of it. Birthdays, graduation, weddings, anniversaries — they all seem to revolve around food. Cakes, ice cream, meals…. It seemed a lot of our celebrations were centered on food. Celebration a graduation? Cake! Wedding? Food plus cake! Birthdays? Cake! Even anniversaries — a meal to celebrate before the private celebration.
But… have we centered too much on food? Why can’t we have a party without food? It doesn’t have to be a five hour party. A single hour, perhaps two, should not require food at all. Just the party itself, the games, and then they can go home. Why… do we use food as a reward?
I suppose once we’ve come into an abundance of food, we forget how to eat it only to live, instead of living to eat. Suddenly there’s countless new ideas every day, new food products, most of them sweet. New snacks and sweets to enjoy and “celebrate” life.
In my new journey as a post-operation bariatric patient, it’s something we have to learn. I just celebrated my birthday a few weeks ago and had to resist going out to buy a cake to celebrate. I sat there, wondering: “How can I celebrate without food?”
I was stunned. I didn’t know how. I even considered making a sugar-free, low-carb birthday cake, but my brain was stuck on needing and wanting buttercream frosting and moist cake. I am only two months post-op, after all.
It seems a lot of our socialization is centered on food. Family get together? Food! Birthday? Food! Holidays? Food!
For those like myself, for those who want to reduce snacking and grazing, parties with food make it hard for us. It’s instinct, but we shouldn’t be eating when we’re not hungry. Once we see food, there’s a part of us that wants to eat. I don’t know if it’s an instinctual drive to eat, because once upon a time, food was scarce.
It’s also something my therapist said. “You are not a dog. You don’t need food to reward yourself.”
It was a shock. Yes! He was right! We don’t need food to reward ourselves! What about other, more tangible rewards? A new blouse for hitting a milestone on a weight loss? Jewelry? A new book? Something other than food.
It may be time for us to learn a different way of rewarding ourselves — and rewarding our children — with something other than food. Or at least, not solely with food.
